Seasonal Thoughts

Loving God, you have granted us life with such abundant possibilities. You have honored us by calling us disciples. And so we offer ourselves and your abundance that we may be ministers of your grace. Amen
- Prayer of Thanksgiving

FDR and the New Deal for Beginners » peoplesworld

FDR and the New Deal for Beginners » peoplesworld

Benay Enterprises, Inc.

Benay Enterprises, Inc.

Ellen

The world dies one person at a time
Not one big cataclysmic bang
But in low moans and stifled sobs
As we lose the ones we love
One by one, day by day
Their memory is the green ring around the drain
Marked by the slow drip of time
Stitching together our continuing life
We try to weave memory and longing into perpetual refuge
Their face and laughter becomes after a moment
Like a warm breath on a cold window pane,
Visible for only a few fleeting seconds
A vague outline obscured then obliviated by the passage of time
We rail and wage battle against the inevitable loss
As well as the diminishment of ourselves
By the defeat of life
What wouldn’t I give
To walk side by side with you a few more times down the road
Our mutual laughter birthed by crazy love and Gemini-like spirits
Two women have never shared so secret a joy in just hearing the other speak
The goddess of mirth our covert mother, and joy and hilarity our sisterly ties
You are my secret doppelganger in the crazy, distorted fun-house mirror we call life

Switch

I can’t imagine you
A gangly, skinny young boy
Painfully tall and thin
Silent and reserved
When could your presence not have been known?
I imagine you as a newborn foal,
All legs and no coordination
Wobbling around in your youth and teens like a young steed
Eying the young girls and literally sowing your wild oats
Not knowing your own allure
Then one day finding your stride
Running hard and wild with your friends
Feeling the strength of your nature emerging from within you
When you walk into a room now
It’s as if a stallion enters
Invisible smoke emerging from your nostrils
Your skin glistens as if you were just groomed with oil
I want to reach out and touch your forearm
Feel the taunt skin barely hiding muscle and sinew
Fascinated by the duality of power and gentleness
All harnessed into one being

The Pendulum Swings for Thee

There is a woman who works out at my gym who walks around the ladies dressing room always naked…from the waist up. Now all of us undress and dress in front of one another but the minutes she walks in she strips off her top and bra and then proceeds to put on the rest of her work-out gear. Conversely, when she finishes exercising and showers, she spends all of her grooming time with her breasts exposed until the very last minute before leaving the locker room. She blow-dries her hair braless, puts on her makeup braless, and then finally after putting on every other stitch of clothing, dons her bra and shirt and leaves.

The reason for this continual state of semi-nudity obvious to us all: she has breast implants. The first time I walked in and saw her semi-naked and doing her hair my eyes immediately went to her chest and then embarrassingly I looked down at my feet. “Incredible,” I thought, but in the way that the French say, “incroyable!” meaning implausible or unbelievable Shocking is what they were; high, taunt, big, rock-hard mounts of unmoving flesh. As she bent over to brush the back of her hair, the breasts stayed exactly in place, as if only she were somehow surrounded by a space of zero gravity while the rest of us sadly remained chained to the normal laws of gravity and aging. I say the breasts as they seem to be not of her but on her.

Like a car crash on the side of the road, I cannot help but try and sneak a sideways glance at them while in the dressing room. I want to block them from view but at the same time just stop and stare squarely at them. I actually felt my head shaking as I said inwardly, “just get dressed and get out of here as fast as you can.” This morning her locker was next to mine and I could feel my eyes involuntarily popping out each time she passed to and fro. They are so high and hard that they remind me of a suspension bridge but without the natural sway and give that makes the tension of the structure keep it from snapping. I worried that if she knocked into me the force might actually push my own breast back, imploding them into my body. And if she had sex with a shorter man, one wrong thrust at the wrong angle and he might loose both his eyes.

I am not excited or envious of them as there’s no give to them; they’re motionless, lifeless things. I cannot imagine anyone lying next to them, feeling their suppleness, cupping their softness in their hands. A child could never put their lips to them or lay their cheek between them for comfort. They are a scary sort of freak of nature to me, or like a science experiment gone wrong. Hopefully writing about them will be an exorcism; otherwise I’m going to have to change my workout schedule!

Laughter

There are so many things to wear down the mind and spirit these days: the recession, falling homes prices, unemployment, economic uncertainty, and national political discord. I’m lucky enough to have 2 dogs and a wonderful young son to cheer me each day yet still I need those moments of absolute gut-wrenching laughter to make me forget my troubles and worries. So I thought I would share, if not just record, the words and images that are bringing tears to my eyes and belly-laughs to my body.

Sunday, May 02, 2010
From NY Times Week In Review: “Posh, Posher, Poshest” by Sarah Lyall on the upcoming British Election
“”The talent show of the Damned” a Guardian columnist called the final election debate last week….”